St. Patty the Meandering Cripple Sub-Midget

St Patty the Meandering Cripple Sub Midget

AGE: 477 years old.... 385 of which was spent barricading the pot of gold with his German Mauser that he borrowed from his deutchland native uncle Kilroy Von Heidelberg

Location: Just 25 mi. from the pot of gold... safe visible distance at all times, expect foggy days in April...

PAST:  St Patty has chosen to waste away his days like a camel parched for water in the Sahara desert.   He came from an affluent family, in the rich vibrant and contemporary city of New World Order City or NWOC for shirt.   He got a job selling I LOVE NWOC shirts with memorial pictures of the Freedom Tower, which was hit by two more airplanes, just 30 days after its inception into the new york city skyline of 2015.   Rather shamelessly, and ingloriously, the government once again , denied any involvement in the worst terrorist attack since .... well.... two planes flew into the same exact location just 14 years ago.... And it was rather unimaginative.... Kind of like The movie deep impact after it completely ripped off Armageddon and used Morgan Freeman to peddle it.  Side note: Morgan Freeman , is a FREEMASON... don't believe me??? wikipedia is the site of the gods....( actually I'm making this up, but my hunches have been dead on in the past)...

(more on Morgan Freeman being a Freemason)

Hes in every single movie for Christ sake!!! and he portrays practically every time the symbol of bravery and resolve that are supposedly ingrained in any true blue American.  Hes a Freemason, believe it.... 

MORE ON ST. PATTY AND WHY HES CALLED THAT:

Patty worked at the bodega on canal st. in Soho for about 13 years before he was approached by a member of the Freemasons.  ( ahhh you see, the Freemason reference was completely relevant to the plot) 

It was a sunny afternoon in the dog days of July, 2028... Cars now flew around everywhere.... so there was No need to worry about being sideswiped by a routy gang of barbaric nihilists with potato guns.  As this was just the 3rd year of the American Re-Revolution no. 9 ( the no.9 referred to the 9th time that they tried to overthrow the government and failed miserably) It was a voracious war, incinerating innocent civilians on both sides. 

As the bombs fell, little Patty sat there with his memorial 9/12/2015 shirts, quivering.... He wasn't sure whether or not the strange man in the government issued uniformed was there to kill him.  The man politely asked for Patty's Assistance....

"Excuse me son , would be be interested in being a Freemason?? To fight against the revolution no. 9?"

"Why no sir, you see ...I am a separatist, and I believe that 9/12 was an inside job perpetrated by the government to seize control of the moon bases on the planet iO"

"I see......." said the strange polite man as he starred blankly at a memorial picture of September 12th... The poster had the sub header

 " WE NEVER FORGIVE , BUT THEN WE FORGET"

Suddenly the man whipped around faster than an egg beater vibrates after a hard whack... As the strange armed assailant approached mach 3 speeds, his hand slipped from his pocket with a Glock 18 fully loaded. As he cocked back the barrel, Patty dove behind his makeshift counter, and covered his vital organs....

A SHOT RANG OUT...... Silence was obliterated by loud pangs of death.  Patty laid there on the floor bleeding out like an pig inverted with its throat slit.  He gasped and gurgled for a last breath.... The man stood before him , gun in hand....

" I guess you'll become a saint for this, Patty ol' boy"

"I.......i....-.... (gasp)"

"Whats that?" At a loss for words patty ol lad!?"

"You... bastard.......ii.... -ughhh-"

"that's right...... sleep tight "

Patty's eyes closed.... His conscious pain and frightened state of mind survived.  He couldn't feel his heart beat, but he felt like he was still breathing.  Everything was black...

The Cursed stranger donned his cap and pea coat and walked out of the bodega, shoes sopping with st. Patty's blood... 

"Indeed,.... that's what they'll call him, and my stock in Beer and Hallmark Decorations will triple in just 4 years!"

there was a silence.... 

"Now.... just one more thing to do....."

"he let the door of the bodega slam behind him rather unceremoniously... The sacred murder scene of St. Patrick the Brave hearted Mick with the heart of gold.

The man who wouldn't sell his soul to the devil, because he believed in the truth.  The man who averted sin and temptation to uphold his ancestors name in the last American Revolution, which lasted almost 50 years, with an atrocious amount of casualties on both sides.

He became the symbol of that last great American Revolution No.9, which finally overthrew the power storm of the Freemason and Underground royal bloodlines in Europe that controlled the worlds accumulated wealth since medieval times. 

The New World Order City, the former city of New York, was restored to its former freedom loving glory, and renamed St Patrick Square, in honor of the man who saved mankind from enslavement.

WHAT HAPPENED TO DEAR OL' ST. PAT?

Patty thrived in heaven for a millenia , where he chased little alien kittens around all day and frolicked through meadows of marijuana. and hops. 

Patty knew nothing of his fame on earth, as he continued to frolic for centuries at a time with funny looking alien feline sentian creatures who could both talk and understand English.  He had everything he needed to be happy right there in heaven. His fame on earth would have meant nothing to him, were he to learn of it.

For St. patty was a pure soul...a brave soul in the face of adversity.  He will forever be remembered as the Single greatest thing to happen to the world since Jesus Christ.